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SUMMARY: SIECUS REVIEW OF Reasonable Reasons to Wait
 
Reasonable Reasons to Wait: Keys to Character is an abstinence-only-until-marriage curriculum developed under the Adolescent Family Life Act (AFLA). It was written by Maureen Gallagher Duran and released by the Virginia-based organization, A Choice in Education. The edition SIECUS reviewed was revised in 2002–2003. It is our understanding that the curriculum has not been further revised and that it is no longer available for purchase. SIECUS chose to review this curriculum despite this fact, however, because it was part of a research study that is being touted by the abstinence-only-until-marriage industry as proof of the success of this restrictive approach. 
 
The study, conducted in 1999-2000 in Northern Virginia, found that RRTW helped 7th grade students remain abstinent for one year. Given that the average age of first sexual intercourse is 16.9 for men and 17.4 for women, keeping 12 or 13 year-olds abstinent for one year is admirable, but no great feat. Moreover, the findings are compromised by numerous methodological flaws including a quasi-experimental design.[1]
 
In addition, SIECUS believes that it is vital to look at the specific messages found in many of these programs, including RRTW. We believe that programs, like RRTW, that rely on fear and shame, present inaccurate information, and foster biases and stereotypes are never appropriate even if they show some marginal success in delaying sexual debut.
 
Relying on Negative Messages
 
Messages of Fear—Portraying Premarital Sex as Inevitably Harmful
 
  • “Do you think it is possible to engage in premarital sex without anyone getting hurt?” (RRTW, Student Workbook, p. 40).
 
  • “There are three kinds of hurt that may follow premarital sex—physical, emotional and academic” (RRTW, Student Workbook, p. 40).
 
  • RRTW lists the “risks associated with premarital sex” as “pregnancy, broken relationship, sexually-transmitted diseases, loss of self-confidence, contraceptive/prophylactic failures, doubts, and being used and dropped” (RRTW, student workbook, p. 52).
 
  • “Sexually transmitted diseases affect teenagers’ dating relationships. AIDS can kill. It can kill you. It can kill your date” (RRTW, Student Workbook, p. 125).
This focus on consequences is clearly designed to scare students rather than educate them. There is no scientific evidence to support the assertion that premarital sexual intercourse leads to everything from academic consequences to being dropped. 
 
Messages of Shame—Instilling Embarrassment and Guilt
 
  • RRTW likens premarital sex to drug and alcohol use and notes that just because other people are doing it, they should not compromise their values. “No matter how many people accept a dumb idea, it is still a dumb idea.” Two of the examples used to illustrate this point are: 
 
    • “Slavery—At one point in our country’s history, a majority of people believed it was acceptable to own slaves. They were wrong. It took civil war, as well as a lot of time to help people see this.”
 
    • “Hitler—There were people in Germany and other places who went along with his plan to exterminate “inferior” people. When the reality of this was made known, near the end of World War II, people’s mind changed” (RRTW, student workbook, p. 39).  
 
  • “If an adolescent is sexually active, he is no longer a challenge or different from the crowd. After a while, the teenager is no longer respected” (RRTW, teacher’s manual, p. 3.27).
 
Comparing premarital sex to drinking and drug use, and, worse, to slavery and genocide, is particularly dangerous and offensive. While all moral authorities can agree that holding slaves is wrong and excessive drinking is unhealthy, many throughout the world think it is wholly appropriate for two adults to have safe, consensual sex outside of marriage. Moreover, it is important to remember that 48% of all high school students and 65% of high school seniors have engaged in sexual activity.[2] It is unfair and inappropriate to imply that these teens are impure or lack self-control and that others should lose respect for them.
 
Sexual Arousal—Describing Sex as an Uncontrollable Force
 
  • When “intimacy does not end in intercourse, a young man can become frustrated. Many young women say that they never meant to go as far as they did, that they felt unable to stop, and intercourse just happened. It is far better, and safer, to avoid long-term and close intimacy such as fondling genitals” (RRTW, teacher’s manual, p. 3.10).
 
  • “Girls need to be aware they may be able to tell when a kiss is leading to something else. The girl may need to put the brakes on first in order to help the boy” (RRTW, student workbook, p. 96).
 
By suggesting that teens have no control over their actions, RRTW actually discourages them from making wise sexual decisions and taking responsibility for their actions. Young people need to know that at any point in a relationship, and at any point during sexual activity, they have the right and the ability to set their own sexual boundaries and that it is their responsibility to do so. Moreover, they need to know that this right and responsibility extends to both partners regardless of gender. 
 
Providing Misinformation
 
Sexually Transmitted Diseases—Misleading Students
 
  • “AIDS can be transmitted by skin-to-skin contact” (RRTW, teacher’s manual, p. 5.19).
 
  • “After death from AIDS, the most serious complications resulting from these diseases are pelvic inflammatory disease, sterility, ectopic pregnancy, cancer associated with HPV, fetal and infant death, birth defects, and mental retardation” (RRTW, student workbook, p. 129).  
 
  • “Cervical cancer is positively correlated with promiscuous behavior and kills approximately 5,000 women a year” (RRTW, Student Workbook, p. 119). 
 
  • “Would anyone want to talk to friends, family members, current or future boyfriend/girlfriend about an STD one had contracted?”; “Would this be something a person would want to discuss with family at the dinner table? (RRTW, student workbook, p. 119). 
 
Much of the information RRTW provides about STDs is wrong, confusing, or misleading. While acknowledging that most STDs are treatable if diagnosed early, RRTW focuses on the long-term, worst case scenarios. The curriculum then seems to blame individuals who become infected and suggest they should feel ashamed. RRTW would better serve students by relying less on fear and shame, and instead providing information on how STDs are transmitted, the signs and symptoms one should look out for, the importance of early testing and treatment, methods of prevention beyond abstinence, and the communication skills necessary to talk about STDs with a partner.
 
Condoms—Exaggerating Failure
 
·         “Common sense indicated that the condom is inadequate and that abstinence prior to marriage and faithfulness within marriage are the best means of STD prevention” (RRTW, student workbook, p. 120).
 
·         “Condoms sometimes have holes in them or break during use” (RRTW, student workbook, p. 131).
 
RRTW’s discussion of condoms is confusing at best, inaccurate at worst, and seemingly designed to undermine young people’s confidence in this importance method of protection. Undermining young people’s faith in condoms will not prevent them from becoming sexually active; it may, however, prevent them from using condoms when they do, therefore increasing their risk of STDs and unintended pregnancy. 
 
Promoting Biases
 
The Marriage Mandate—Promoting One Lifestyle

  • People who have engaged in premarital sex are likely to associate sex with guilt, shame, or fear (“from knowing that they’ve done something wrong”), are less likely to have trust in their marriage, more likely to be talked into cheating on their spouse, and will suffer from the inevitable urge to compare their spouse with former sex partners (RRTW, student workbook, p. 178). 
 
  • “Some actions are inappropriate, or wrong. Examples of inappropriate actions are: stealing, lying, cheating, abusing drugs, and engaging in premarital sexual activity” (RRTW, student workbook, p. 69).
 
RRTW promotes the idea that there is one proper way to live life: One should date, build a strong relationship based on abstinence, get married (to a member of the opposite sex), and start a family. In doing so, RRTW stigmatizes cohabitating and divorced couples, does not acknowledge that some individuals do not wish to marry, and simply ignores the fact that gay and lesbian individuals still cannot legally marry in most states, and could not marry anywhere in the United States when it was originally published. Furthermore, while some people may believe that premarital abstinence is the only morally appropriate behavior, this is clearly not a value held by all Americans—as evidence by the fact that the vast majority of the population has sex before marriage.
 
Gender Biases—Perpetuating Gender Stereotypes
 
  • RRTW presents the following two poems:  (RRTW, student workbook, p. 64)
 
A Woman’s Poem
I met him; I liked him.
I liked him; I loved him.
I loved him; I let him.
I let him; I lost him.
 
A Man’s Poem
I saw her; I liked her.
I loved her; I wanted her.
I asked her; She said no.
I married her.
After sixty years, I still have her.
 
  • “A girl’s attire can arouse sexual feelings in boys…A boy can get the wrong message from what a girl might wear. A boy never has the right, however, to attack a girl, even if she is wearing clothes that arouse his sexual feelings” (RRTW, student workbook, p. 96). 
 
RRTW perpetuates a number of harmful sexist stereotypes, including the idea that women do not desire sex but often “give in” because they want love, that they lose their worth once they lose their virginity, and that it is therefore their responsibility to remain “pure” and reject any advances. Furthermore, the curriculum’s discussion of sexual abuse and rape advances the notion that “boys will be boys” by implying that while rape is always wrong, a girl’s outfit may be to blame for arousing sexual feelings in a male. Students need to learn that both men and women are sexual beings and have an equal right, an equal ability, and an equal responsibility for making decisions regarding sexual activity.
 
Pregnancy Options—Mandating Choices
 
  • “One act of sexual intercourse begins the life of a child,” (RRTW, student workbook, p. 211).
 
  • “These two young parents put their child’s interest ahead of their own. If a young parent [would] rather kill their child than put it up for adoption it’s an indication of selfishness and a lack of visions for their child” (RRTW, teacher’s manual, p. 8.21).
 
RRTW shows clear biases when discussing pregnancy options. It touts adoption as the ultimate loving decision and stops just short of calling abortion murder. Abortion is a safe and legal option that all women facing an unintended pregnancy are entitled to consider. By presenting clearly biased and inaccurate information about abortion and adoption, RRTW does not allow individuals to make informed, personal decisions.
 

[1] For more information on this study see, SIECUS’ Research Update: Marginally Successful Results of Abstinence-Only Program Erased by Dangerous Errors in Curriculum, SIECUS, at http://www.siecus.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=Feature.showFeature&featureid=1030&pageid=682&parentid=478.
[2] Danice K. Eaton, et. al., “Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance — United States, 2007,” Surveillance Summaries, Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report, vol. 57, no.SS-04, June 6, 2008, pp. 1-131, accessed at: <www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/dash/yrbs/>.